Eyal Tamir; UMass, Amherst; also Tel Aviv, Israel

I met Eyal through a backstabbing friend and her husband. We connected immediately, and were intimate quickly. I didn’t know if it would be a fling or more, but he said he wanted me to visit him where he lived and worked at Emory University at the time, in Atlanta. We stayed in contact daily, and he knew I was relationship minded. This continued for awhile. After my backstabbing friend told me he was using me to get info about me to pass to her husband (his best friend), I told him that if he didn’t see this going anywhere then he needed to tell me. He said, “Okay, let’s just do that.”

He kept reaching out, and I told him that I did not want to be “just friends.” He assured me that he was NOT using me. I tried to end the contact but he insisted we continue talking because he still thought we had a great connection. Mixed messages for sure, but he was clearly acting like he was still interested. Him and the backstabbing friend and her husband (threesome) would later use my continuation of intimate talk with him as accusing me of “using my sexual power and still getting rejected.” We kept talking, and I told him at one point that if he didn’t plan to see me again, he needed to tell me. He assured me that he did. A month later he informed me that what we had was nothing and just sex messages. I was utterly blindsided. He did this via TEXT, after the whole thing of assuring me that he was not using me. He defending himself (via text) that since he never offered me an exclusive relationship, I was the one who was clearly confused, and he was in the free and clear. This was our first round of a few months, which ended abruptly with a cold discard via text.

The threesome did some of the backstabbing to my face, but mostly behind my back. The whole thing was a head fuck. Eyal did initially say he was friend-zoning me, but he also refused to break contact when I said that I did not want to be friends.

Eyal Tamir is a master at keeping things as evasive, confusing, and contradictory as possible.

Eyal is 42 years old and has never had a relationship. He is addicted to pornography, and obsessed in a delusional relationship with his favorite porn star, “Stoya.” Between Stoya and his attachment to his mother’s apron strings (who still supports him financially), he has no capacity for a relationship and has no kids- and likely never will. He uses facebook to whine to his friends, who are almost all female, that, “girls don’t like me,” “why do I even try.” He does this to elicit non-stop sympathy.

He used my birthday, which he had promised to remember, to inform me that he had just liked the sex. The messages between us read as psychopathic. I am asking him basically what his intentions ever were and are- since he flip-flopped with “I was never using you,” to “This is just sex,” and reading these messages, I cannot believe how cold and vile his is in them.

Months later, my mother committed suicide. The female friend in this was no longer my friend as she had not only been abusive, but informed me that she wanted to be with Eyal and had been sabotaging our relationship. Eyal’s response? “So what. People can fantasize about people.” He clearly liked it, but Eyal is desperate for attention anywhere he can get it. The female friend reaches out, using my mother’s suicide as an excuse to use my apartment to do drugs. Eyal reaches out, ONCE AGAIN, assuring me that it was never his intention to use me!! (mind fuck much?). He said he wanted to be there for me. He kept talking to me like a boyfriend would. Flirting and being sweet.. I kept telling him if he was trying to be a friend, keep it platonic. I told him that it looked like he wanted more than friendship. He persisted. I was vulnerable. My whole family blamed me for my mother’s suicide all over facebook, and I was grief-stricken and couch-bound. I finally gave in, flirting back, and there we were again.

We made plans for him to come visit me. I asked if he had feelings for anyone, and he discarded me, AGAIN. Coldly and abruptly AGAIN. Then, AGAIN, he reminds me that we were not a relationship. I was floored, AGAIN.

Eyal conned me. He contradicted himself and played on my confusion. I handed everything he did to me, as well as what the husband and wife did and their collective, three-way involvement in abusing me, over to a lawyer. I fully intend to pursue legal action against all three of them. Eyal showed me an emotionless, remorseless, inherently abusive personality. He is Jekkyl and Hyde. He has an innocent side where he whines for attention and seeks sympathy from others, and then he SWITCHES into a cold, sadistic man.

A friend and I found him on ratemyprofessor.com. Two women had rated him as abusive to women. One woman was asking them to “please do something about him.” She wrote that he had been trying to pick her up all the time after class and that she never felt so degraded in her life. This was two weeks after the gross messages with me on my birthday. (side note: he made sure to go on Stoya’s social media, though, and wish her a happy birthday).

Stay away from him. Being 42 and never having had a relationship is an obvious red flag in itself, and clearly many women throughout his life learned quickly not to date him. Because of the connection and the manipulative friend playing me as a party to our “relationship,” I put up with him longer than most. Don’t make the same mistake I did. This man is a player through and through, and he will put you through “circular conversations,” to mindfuck you into thinking that you are just confused or stupid. Don’t believe it, this is his M.O. He is sadistic, which means that he is amused and takes pleasure in other’s pain and suffering. When I called him a player, he changed his facebook name to “E.P. Tamir,” (extended play). That’s how funny he thought what he did to me was. After my mother committed suicide, he immediately changed his profile picture to Eeyore hanging himself. When I told him this timing was classless and insensitive, he blew me off with, “that photo was up and down for awhile.” He showed his absolute lack of even a sliver of empathy.

There is quite a lot more than what I wrote here, but it would take a novelette to describe the disorder I experienced with him and his two cohorts, especially how it played out in the group dynamic. That is best left for court. I spent 15 months dealing with this in therapy. Mental abuse is no joke. Emotional abuse is no joke.

Richard Dylan Greeninger, Washington, South Dakota

PLEASE ladies, DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH THIS MAN. He’s charming and kind at first, but he becomes emotionally and physically abusive over time and he can manipulate with ease to make you feel like everything going wrong is your fault! He’s mentally unstable, he abuses methamphetamine, he’s vindictive and his actions are malicious. He’s socially awkward and has a difficult time holding down a job, so he will sponge off of you and take advantage of your kindness. He will ruin your life and you won’t even realize it until it’s too late. HE IS DANGEROUS! He will abuse you, confuse you and make you feel like you’re going absolutely crazy. Save yourself and run the other way!