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Kendra Cousineau, Billings, Montana

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To sum it up…. When my fiance left for a one week trip to Montana I was engaged, when he got back I was already single and just didn’t know it yet. He and I have been together since March 2012 and I’ll admit it was rocky… He’s a believer in polyamory and I am not, so when I found out that was his type I told him to make a choice, me and monogamy or his freedom without me. He chose me, but it remained a sore spot for both of us. He got transferred for his job a few months after we started dating. He knew Kendra through a mutual friend and met her for the first time on his move from Texas to where we live now. I found out much later that he had “temporary amnesia” about our relationship and tried to sleep with her then but she shot him down. Didn’t stop him from sleeping with 3-4 other people on his way there though…I visited him a few months after he moved, thinking the distance was too much, but we ended up both saying I love you on this trip. Long story short, I moved in with him a few months later, transplanting my daughter from my first marriage halfway across the country. It was rough, we broke up multiple times over his infidelities and my inaility to trust because of that, After the last big breakup (he left me for a 19 year old, he was 34), he bought me a ring and proposed. He stayed faithful after that for a little more than a year, but by then the trust was broken for good for me. As long as he stayed home I was fine but every time he took a trip away I would worry. So I guess back in September/October 2014 he started to feel he was being “abused” and “mistreated” by my lack of trust in him, so he started picking fights, alienating me from our mutual friends, and drinking all the time (he already was an alcoholic but it got out of control since he lost his job Sept 2013). So hes drunk almost every night and he’s gained 100 lbs and he’s depressed and his libido quit working. We’re never having sex, we fight about the drinking, he gets into therapy and on meds and its helping. Then out of the blue in December he decides he needs to go back to Montana to visit a friend of his (the same friend that had just been to stay with us that past july/August). He can’t be dissuaded. He HAS to go. So he buys a ticket and spends the week before his trip claiming he’ll communicate, I have nothing to worry about, drunken cuddling with Kendra is ok because it’s just for warmth…. see why I’m getting scared? He gets to Montana and right away there’s attitude. He doesn’t have to tell me who he’s with, I’m his jailer and his minder, why don’t I “just decide whatever he does is ok, whether he does it or not, to put my mind at ease”. Like WTF???? He’s basically telling me that I should go ahead and assume he’s fucking her so I don’t have to worry about it anymore, Of course, by that point, he was fucking her. The dick that didn’t work for me seemed to work just fine for her, of course she’s 10 years younger and 50 pounds lighter than me. But I know none of this at the time. He gets home on Saturday and by Sunday he’s telling me we’re over, he can’t live with the lack of trust (uh WHAT?), I’m a terrible human being for making him feel that way. I spend the next 2 weeks crying and apologizing and feeling like an ass hole for not trusting him. He starts locking his phone and having mysterious midnight phone conversations. So finally I say, is anything getting better between us and he tells me no, it’s over. Ok. So then I check his phone. hundreds and hundreds of texts to and from Kendra, thanking her for the “spite fuck”, asking her to be his girlfriend, oh baby I miss you so much, and now he’s bought her a plane ticket to come visit this weekend. So he’s going to parade her in front of his friends and I’m here at home in so much pain, can’t eat or sleep and shaking all the time from the shock and adrenaline. How did he go from loving me and my daughter and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together to being in love with her in a week???? Or was I just crazy these last 3 years?

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