NARCISSIST – VERBALLY & MENTALLY ABUSIVE – SERIAL CHEATER – WILL STEAL YOUR FINANCES – HOBOSEXUAL (LIVES WITH YOU RENT FREE & BILL FREE IF HE CAN) – LIAR – PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE – HOMELESS MUSICIAN
Here is a letter I wrote to his latest victim:
Listen, I know you don’t know me and you don’t have to listen to what I have to say… but you should. It’s a warning. I had a relationship with Justin Harper for over 2 ½ years (I have known him since 2015). There are a few things you need to know about him because right now he is showing you what he thinks are his best qualities. I’m sure he bragged about his “musical career” and blah, blah, blah. More on that later.
He lived in my apartment RENT FREE for over two years. Not because I wanted it that way. But because he is broke ALL THE TIME. He has no stability financially. He has no steady paycheck, no stable, steady income. Be prepared for this as he is going to borrow money from you, money you probably don’t even have. Gas money. Food money. Pay my phone bill or it gets shut off. Pay my storage unit bill or I lose my stuff. I need this. I need that. I lived this nightmare while he lived under my roof rent-free and he never paid a dime towards groceries, utilities, water …. NOTHING. He can’t. And he won’t, if pressed to. He’ll toss a few dollars at you here and there till you shut up but in the long run… this guy ain’t gonna do shit for you in a financial crunch. So the warning here? Don’t let him move in with you… or is too late??? ALSO — WATCH YOUR FINANCES. I helped him by co-signing a loan for the car he drives (I technically & legally own that fucking car). I did it against my better judgement but the alternative was for him to have no way to travel for work so I did it. Big mistake. I had to claim bankruptcy to get my name off the loan last year (months after I threw him out) because he lagged in payments and they were threatening to take ME to court for it. As of right now, he owes over $200 in TOLL VIOLATIONS that he racked up in my name because he cannot be bothered to stop and pay a $1 toll or get a Sunpass because it’s easier to keep abusing me financially. So, consider yourself warned.
Here’s a bit about his character… when I threw him out after he hit me for the final time (more on that later) he tried to have me evicted from my apartment and to claim “squatters rights” to my home. He also called my boss numerous times to slander me and get me fired. He even showed up at my job to bully me. Needless to say, all parties involved told him to get fucked. They all took my side because I am a reputable, stable, intelligent and trustworthy person. So, here’s another warning… when you cross him he retaliates like a 10-year-old. He has the emotional maturity of a child.
Have you disagreed with him yet? Had an opinion he didn’t share? Espoused a political view he doesn’t share? Have you asked him something as simple as “Please pick up your dirty underwear ” or “please don’t leave wet towels on my bathroom floor”? Because you need to be prepared for his relentless lecturing of how you are wrong and how he is right. How you are a nag. Dispute that and he will call you his two FAVORITE words – CUNT and BITCH. He will call you a drama queen for calling him out on his bullshit. He will never apologize unless it benefits him somehow – and when he does he will spin it on you that somehow it was your fault. Be warned – he takes no personal responsibility for his verbal abuse and his utter disregard for your feelings and opinions. And you will be reminded via relentless texts for hours while you are working or doing something otherwise important that he is angry and upset with you.
Be prepared for some physical altercations, too. I couldn’t walk without a cane for the first two years I knew him due to extremely bad RA in my hip (I have since had hip surgery). I was in constant pain ALL the time. Yet he had no problem shoving and pushing me to floor if we had an argument. He will corner you (literally) and scream in your face until you break. He once took my keys and phone so I could not leave during an argument and then he actually sat on my chest and smothered me by covering my nose and mouth with both his hands. I couldn’t scream, let alone breathe. I thought I was going to die that night. He gripped my face so tightly one of my teeth actually broke off. THIS HAPPENED and I can prove it because when I managed to wrestle free of him I ran out the door and screamed for neighbors to call the police, which they did. And Justin proceeded to tell them that I was lying. I didn’t pursue it further but that fucking happened and I have even seen the police report. He rages on a whim. I am sure if you ask Justin about it he will immediately tell you that I am a liar. Sorry – there is WAYYYY more to it than that.
One time, I fell and hit my head and passed out – blood was pouring out from a huge gash in the back of my head and Justin found me like that. I later found out he poured water over my face because he thought I was faking it. Nice, right? He finally called 911 and I was taken to the hospital. I needed 10 staples in the back of my head and was kept overnight for observation. Justin couldn’t be bothered to take off work the next morning to drive me home from the hospital. I had to call an Uber to pick me up – barefoot, wearing clothes covered in blood stains and my hair matted and red with dried blood. That’s how much he gave a shit. I later found out he was flirting with nurses while my scalp was being stapled back together.
His musical career he brags about, the one where he “quit” Green Jello? It’s bullshit. He was told to leave by the founder of the band itself for being a drama queen. He cannot handle competition and exhibits jealousy. He started drama and was called out for it but you’re gonna hear another line of crap about it. He also has a very strange “persecution complex”… he is convinced people conspire to “keep him down” and that anybody that disagrees with him is a “hater” and out to get him. I have questioned his sanity on this subject more than once. You will soon discover that Justin has a very, very long list of people from his past that no longer speak with him or want anything to with him – personally or business-wise. Women included. Before me, he had never even had a relationship with a woman that lasted longer than 6 months – he told me this numerous times.
Don’t be dazzled by his music ambition… he’s been trying to break into the business for years and years and years. He will spend $200 on a new microphone before he will help you pay rent or for insurance. It’s all about him, you will see. Oh, and has he told you the story about the girl from Canada named Mel M. who is supposedly Jeff Buckley’s daughter and she “inspired” him to give up everything and pursue his musical career? Guess what? He’s never even met her and he is OBSESSED with her. I have since spoken with the woman and found out that she had to block Justin because he was a STALKER. She actually warned me about HIM almost two years ago! He will actually command that you do not ever friend request her on Facebook. He will give you a lot of “demands” about how you may or may not conduct yourself where he is involved. One night he threatened to kill himself and I had to talk him down from jumping off a highway overpass cause she stopped talking to him… that’s right, I had to “talk down” my own boyfriend from suicide over ANOTHER woman. How fucking insulting.
Let’s talk about his cell phone. Get used to it. He will stare at it for hours on end and ignore you. Most likely, he is texting at least a dozen women behind your back. I had to find out the hard way that he started doing this to me only 3 months into our relationship (that’s when he will start to become “bored” of you). He asks them for sex and to have lunch with him while he working at a venue. He will lie to your face about it. I had physical proof and he still denied it. He cheated on me more than once. One time I asked him why, because I was so hurt and devastated about it and all Justin said was “I don’t know. She looked good in a pair of shorts.” THAT was his explanation for hurting me. That was, in his mind, justification for hurting the one person that loved him the most….me. Be warned, because he seems to get off on that shit.
I hope you like to smoke weed, by the way. Because he smokes it quite a lot and literally cannot function without it. He is stoned ALL THE TIME and has a serious problem being a nice, rational person if he isn’t. God forbid he runs out of weed and you are stuck with him… woe unto you. And don’t expect much help around the house if he’s home and stoned. The dishes will stay in the sink, the towels on the floor, all the lights on in every room and there will be ashes all over your carpet and smoke and dust and stink from him lighting up every five minutes. I came home to this quite often after working all day (I work full time as a graphic designer) and then I was expected to cook and clean up after this man-child. Hope you don’t mind having another kid in your life – cause you just got one named Justin.
Bring him around your family… see what they think. It only took about a year and half for my father to ban him permanently from their home for the way he treated me and the way he cursed at my Dad. He told me on more than one occasion I should tell my mother to go fuck herself. Told me tell my father to go fuck himself. My Mom used to cook for him special and my Dad even made him a special birthday cake (he’s a retired baker) and this is the kind of disrespect he will eventually show to your family. He once actually said to me “How would you like it if I fucked your daughter?” REVOLTING AND INEXCUSABLE. His own brother won’t even talk to him.
One time a good friend of mine was killed in a car accident. I tried to call Justin even though he was in Arkansas at the time because I needed support. Couldn’t get a hold of him on the phone, though. Found out later that he was too busy fucking some fat, ugly wildebeest there behind my back.
Has he asked you to have his baby yet? Because that is coming, too. He wants so badly to have a child with a woman yet has NOT A FUCKING CLUE what is involved financially or mentally or emotionally. He will want to knock you up but just know that this idiot has no foundation on which to raise a child. He is content to live out of a car if he has to and he will drag you and a kid into that world. There is no security in a relationship with this man – don’t even let him bamboozle you into having a kid with him.
Listen, I know this is a lot to take in but I really feel like you should be warned. I went into this relationship with Justin a very confident, self-assured person and left it an anxiety-ridden, traumatized wreck. I used to dread coming home many times because I didn’t know what bullshit and anger I was coming home to with him. He made me afraid to be in my own home – and I resent that. I tried more than once to throw him out – he outright refused and bullied me into letting him stay. He guilted me by saying he’d be homeless. Don’t let him do this to you. I’m a year without him and I am still trying to recover from the abuse he put me through. I expect that you will be angry and upset by my words and will not want to believe them but trust me… it’s a matter of time for when you will see him how he really is. I’m sure you will block me but at least I feel better warning someone else of what a manipulator this guy is. Be warned – you are in a relationship with a bully, a narcissist, a user and an extremely verbally and mentally abusive person.