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I’m the guy who can banter for hours online, then freeze at the table. Fix was dumb-simple: practice five “exit lines” and three “expanders” I can deploy IRL. Online builds the ladder; in-person is the climb. Your patience metric is cool—mine tanks after day nine. If we’re still scheduling, it’s already a no.
17Instant left: negs, job interviews, “state your intentions.” I’m here for vibes, not HR. Right swipe: playful challenge with a hook—“Two truths about your gym fails, go.” Short, cheeky, replyable. If it sounds like a press release, I ghost. If it sounds like we’ve already got banter, I’m in. Keep it tight, no essays.
29You’re all making it sound tragic, but I met my girlfriend on Tinder and it’s been solid. I think the trick is treating it as part of your social life, not the center. Apps help meet people, but the vibe check happens IRL. The balance is in the follow-through.
282Shanghai playbook that didn’t get me blocked: “Tea Thursday 6 at Peet’s on Huaihai? If not, Saturday 3?” Simple Chinese first, switch if they do. WeChat after we’ve set a time. No “teach me Mandarin” jokes, zero. Interest looks like quick counters and on-time arrivals. Vibes-only chat for days is a museum; nice to look, nothing moves.
26Chispa on Sundays, late afternoon, weirdly cracked for me in Medellín. Hinge did numbers in CDMX around gallery hours. AmoLatina? Nah, felt like a mall kiosk with DMs. Open Spanish, tease lightly, set the out. If they say “vemos,” don’t overbook your night. Pay smoothly, no speeches.
30Keep it tidy: propose time, place, exit plan. Don’t spam stickers. Two max. If they say “看看再说” vibes, it means feel it out, don’t press. Dating culture in China ain’t monolith—Shanghai sprint, Chengdu chill. Read the room, pay attention, no negging. Easy.
15Signal check: do they escalate channel? App → text → call → meet. If it stalls at “good morning” loops, that’s politeness cosplay. Interest confirms, reschedules once at most, and shows. My move is, “I’d like to see you. Thursday 7, ramen?” Clean. If they counter with a real time, green. If they vibe for days, red.
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