Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Librarian here who overthinks wording for a living 😅. What’s worked for me is a kind opener, one clear boundary sentence, and a soft close. Before a date I’ll say, “Hey! I’ve enjoyed chatting, but tbh I’m not feeling a romantic vibe, so I’m going to pass. Wishing you luck out there.” After a first meet, I add a specific thank-you (“Thanks again for coffee—nice conversation!”) and then the same boundary. If they press “why,” I repeat once: “I don’t think we’re a match,” and move on. You don’t owe a breakdown, especially online. Scripts reduce ambiguity and, idk, they keep me from spiraling into apology paragraphs 😭. You’re doing the considerate thing by not ghosting; short, clear, and warm is the sweet spot.
14Setting expectations matters. If you’re seeking something sincere, SakuraDate or OkCupid with location filters tends to be less spammy than broad “asian dating sites.” DateInAsia is old-school but surprisingly human if you write a specific profile and ignore DMs demanding LINE instantly. Keep chats in-app for 3–5 days, do a brief video call, then suggest a neutral first meet—daytime café, your pick, you pay if you invite, otherwise offer to split. Boundaries > assumptions.
30One tiny tactic: co-write a mini itinerary for the first meet. Pick two cafes, one bookstore, a backup plan if trains are late. It sounds nerdy, but it reduces anxiety and makes space for chemistry. Screenshots of tickets and a shared calendar go a long way in LDR land.
12I’m not Russian, but I dated a Russian grad student while we were both abroad. We met on SofiaDate if you are interesed. What worked: we scheduled weekly video dates and swapped reading lists so our conversations didn’t become interview-y. He taught me idioms; I shared Filipino dishes on camera. The respectful part is treating culture as a two-way bridge, not a tourist stop.
18
