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Mini-analysis on the replies: several of you confirm the seven-day window as a tipping point, and video-first keeps flake rates honest. I’m adding two columns—“first video lag” and “date duration cap.” Also stealing the exit-lines trick for IRL awkward silences. If folks want the template, I can drop a scrubbed CSV.
20I ran a tiny experiment when I was dating someone with different hobbies (me: cycling metrics; her: improv). We instituted “observer tokens.” One token per week to observe the other’s hobby for exactly 25 minutes, no critique, one question max. Satisfaction scores rose because participation had edges. Also, schedule a recurring neutral ritual—Sunday dumplings—immune to races or kiln firings.
21Ran a three-month test between Chispa, LatiDate, LatinAmericanCupid, ColombiaLady, and Hinge with location set to CDMX/Medellín/BA. Best signal-to-noise was LatiDate in Miami and CDMX; verification reduced spam by ~40%. LatinAmericanCupid skewed long bios, cross-border, higher paid-tier pressure. Open in Spanish if your profile’s bilingual. GoldenBride was nice, but a bit more expencive. Prompts referencing local food outperformed compliments. Safety: verify socials but don’t demand Moments immediately.
16Quick add: per the data I tracked in Berlin vs. Munich, response latency improves 18–25% when your opener includes a concrete time window. For european dating sites with paid tiers, “see who liked you” yields a short-term spike, then regression. The most durable lever was profile rewrite: one narrative prompt, one niche interest, one grounded invitation.
17Mini-study from my Shanghai quarter: matches via Tantan vs Hinge CN split 70/30; conversion to first meet depended on language mirroring and clear intent. When I opened in simple Chinese, reply rate rose ~20%. “Do Chinese women like American men” is unanswerable; segments matter—age, overseas study, industry. Green flags: time-specific plans, mutual hobby anchors, WeChat exchanged after 10–15 messages.
16I track this, embarrassingly. My strongest proxy for genuine interest is temporal specificity within two exchanges. If they convert vibe to calendar—“Thursday 7, X café?”—reply rate and second-date rate both spike. Politeness produces mirroring and acknowledgments without time anchors. A good test: offer two concrete windows plus an out. Yes to either window = interest. “I’ll let you know” loops = courtesy.
21Left: “hey” and “prove it.” Right: a crisp, specific question. My tiny spreadsheet says reply rate jumps when the opener contains a concrete noun plus a why. “Best chip shop in Manc—why?” beats any compliment. Emojis act neutral unless stacked. Three or more reads juvenile. Also, platform matters: on Hinge, prompts outperform cold openers by ~30% for me.
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