GOT STOOD UP AT A STEAKHOUSE THEN GOT A TEXT “SORRY, MERCURY IN RETROGRADE.” KID, MERCURY DIDN’T MAKE YOU RUDE. I FED THE WAITER, TIPPED HEAVY, AND WENT HOME. NEXT DATE, DAYLIGHT HOURS, PUBLIC PLACE, EXIT PLAN. FUNNY STORIES ARE CUTE UNTIL FOLKS FORGET BASIC MANNERS.
