[BisexualBookworm]

I dated a beekeeper while being terminally indoorsy. Our truce was narrative exchange. After his hive checks, he’d tell me one astonishing bee fact; after my book club, I’d read him a paragraph I loved. Dating someone with different hobbies works if you translate your passion into stories, not recruitment drives. Enthusiasm is contagious; conscription kills it.

26

[BisexualBookworm]

I dated in Beijing while doing a library residency. Loved the bookstore-café first dates—quiet corners, low stakes. Literary icebreakers traveled well, like asking their comfort re-reads. I’d avoid cosplaying as “mysterious foreigner.” Also, if someone introduces xiangqin pressure, show empathy; it’s a family system, not a personal attack. Dating culture in China spans spectrums, so stay curious and kind.

11

[BisexualBookworm]

As a bookish menace, I watch for plot. Politeness is exposition—flavorful, charming, inert. Interest advances the chapter. They ask a question only you can answer, then turn the answer into a scene: “There’s a reading on Thursday; want to heckle the poet with me?” Also, readers: don’t confuse shy with no. Shy still says yes, just softer and slower.

12

[BisexualBookworm]

Beijing librarian era taught me this: start where you overlap, then read each other like a new author—curious, not possessive. “Do Chinese women like American men” erases protagonists. Some do; some prefer local; some prefer women; some prefer silence and tea. My best chats began with book recs and ended with street snacks. Consent and context were the genre.

24

1

[BisexualBookworm]

What helps me is consent-y curiosity. I mirror one identity clue and invite a mini-share: “You mentioned queer lit—what book made you feel seen? I’ll trade mine.” It’s respectful, specific, and not performative. And yes, starting conversations on dating apps gets easier when you genuinely care about their answer, not the reply rate.

15

[Author]

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