Trevor Banks

I met Trevor on Bumble. He seemed low-key, said he liked hiking and “dad jokes.” Fine. He asked me to meet him “somewhere chill.” That place turned out to be… Home Depot. I thought he was kidding. Nope.
He said he just “needed to grab a few things.” I spent TWO HOURS walking around with him while he debated between two types of mulch and asked a clerk if potting soil had gluten. I should’ve left, but I kept thinking, maybe this is quirky? Spoiler: it was not. He tried to kiss me near the lawn chairs.
I asked if we could do dinner instead. He said he was “not hungry but down to split a rotisserie chicken.” I left. He texted the next day saying he felt a “connection in the plumbing aisle.” I still can’t go into hardware stores without twitching.