Owen Park

This actually happened: Owen brought his mom on our first date. No warning. Just, “Hey, this is Cheryl, she’s super excited to meet you.” I laughed awkwardly. She did not.
We sat at a booth—me, Owen, and Cheryl—and she grilled me like I was applying to marry her son. Asked if I cook, what religion I am, whether I’d be open to moving into their family compound (not a joke).
Owen sat there nodding like this was fine. Said he brings his mom to all first dates “to filter the phonies.” When I said I needed to leave, Cheryl said, “That’s what the last girl did too.” I almost climbed out the bathroom window.
Ladies, unless you’re looking for a package deal with a mother-in-law who owns six parrots and believes in arranged marriages, skip this one.