Kevin Moore

Kevin said he was a “creative soul with a strong intellect.” Sounds good, right? In person, he looked like an ex-YouTuber who now sells knives at flea markets. We went to a dive bar. First thing he says is, “Did you know Woodstock was a government experiment?” Then he starts ranting about the real reason John Lennon died.
It only got weirder. He made me listen to his SoundCloud track in the middle of our date. It’s called “Plandemic Panic”—yes, seriously. It’s him rapping over elevator music about fluoride and Bill Gates. I told him I worked in healthcare and he got dead serious and said, “You’re part of the machine.”
He paid in $2 bills and left the bartender a drawing of a falcon as a “spiritual tip.” I left before he could pull out a harmonica. I’ve never fake-texted a friend so fast in my life.