Elaine Bishop

Elaine seemed quirky in a fun way on Hinge—loved poetry, plants, cats. She suggested a little tea shop downtown for the date. Cool. I got there early. She showed up 25 minutes late and immediately said the lighting in the café was “too acidic.” What? We walked two blocks to another place she “trusted energetically.”
She brought her own mug. She told the barista not to “stress the leaf.” I had no idea what that meant, and honestly, I was scared to ask. She then grilled me about my “rising sign,” and when I guessed wrong (I’m not into astrology), she frowned like I’d kicked a puppy. For an hour, I listened to how coffee "closes your crown chakra" and how her ex-boyfriend “betrayed her aura.” I paid and left. She texted me later to ask if my apartment had “mold energy.” Nope. Just peace and quiet now.